And so I walked into the restaurant, jam-packed with people
sitting in crowded clusters. Nobody really looked at one each other, (which
came as a surprise honestly), but rather focused on their hearty meals, munching
down noisily. We instantaneously climbed up to the AC dining hall for comfort,
only to be disappointed when they said they didn’t serve dosas and idlis during
lunch. So we traversed back into the hot mess downstairs. I know what you’re
thinking…why in the world would you want to eat in that crowded, sweaty, noisy
dining hall. Well, can you blame me if I want me some piping hot idlis and
dosas, smothered in coconut chutney?! I didn’t care, I was determined. And so,
the interesting experience began…
Due
to the lack of space, complete strangers were packed together in tables fighting
for space in the restaurant. Now it came to my realization why they didn’t
stare at one another. It’s because people were eating with people they’d never
met! As much as we tried to ask for a separate table, we were obliged to seat
ourselves in a tiny table of four, seated across two male strangers. The
awkwardness was tangible. The repeated attempts to look anywhere but at the two
men eating across me made it difficult to even concentrate at my meal. Forget
concentrating on my meal, as my eyes couldn’t help but slide over at the
adjacent platters of rice, fried chicken, and bowls of sambar. Completely
immersed in animated conversations, they didn’t seem to notice at all, while
Mom and I cringed in discomfort.
Encroaching
upon personal space is something Westerners are not comfortable with at all.
Due to the individualistic and independent nature of Westerners (according to
me), as opposed to the collectivist Indian society, personal space is valued.
Having grown up there, I’ve had multiple awkward encounters in crowded
elevators, shops, restaurants where I can’t help but flinch greatly (and I mean
jump ten feet high) at personal contact with a stranger. However, what I see bewilders
me even greatly. I’ve seen strangers affectionately squeezing the cheeks of
random cute babies, or the vibrant vegetable ‘ammas’ shoving me aside for space
on train journeys, or my friends and I wedged in a sandwich between sweaty strangers,
all scrambling for their burgers at the college canteen lines. I can imagine
just the looks of horror my American classmates would give me right now…
Despite
the stark contrast in cultures, it is interesting to note some contradictions
in each society. Although Westerners will otherwise not dig their noses in your
business, when it comes to helping someone in great need, they will come to
your rescue. I have witnessed more than one instance. For example, a huge crowd
flocked together to defend a young girl getting physically assaulted by her
boyfriend out on the streets. Yet, when I saw a nearly similar instance of a
husband assaulting his wife at a train station in Chennai, people barely
glanced over. In a society where we’re constantly concerned about our neighbor’s
happenings, it’s sad to see we don’t leap up at the opportunity to help
strangers. We’d rather just watch, and stay out of it.
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