Privilege sickens me

            I can’t help nowadays but feel absolutely disgusted by privileged people. I’m mostly referring to the first world. #Firstworldproblems is seriously one of the most annoying things out there. It’s been a while that I have visited the States back, and I have been way out of my comfort zone living in India for the past five years now. I’ve held onto my life, memories, and friends there because I almost don’t want to be swallowed by the realities of the third world. It frightens me…

            I drown myself in funny and silly YouTube videos that Westerners make because it leaves me with some sort of reassurance. I know that sounds absolutely absurd. I crave for an escapist route from the harsh realities of what India has presented me with. It’s starting to suffocate me and drive me a little crazy. I don’t know what to do about the over-loading of information that has sensitized me way too much. I feel helpless and useless being in my own country surrounded by these problems.

            Social media really hasn’t been helping either, when people complain about the most ridiculous things like “Oh I caught a cold, and I’ve been sick ALL week!” Or things like “I wish McDonalds would offer more sauce with the fries!” Or “I’ve been single for sooooo long, I think something’s wrong with me!” Or “My insurance company has been giving me such a hard time!”  Okay, so maybe that last one might be valid.

            Come to think of it, having only lived in that world your whole life, maybe you can validate all these issues. You haven’t seen anything else, or experienced real problems on the other side of the world. There are people dying, people that are struggling everyday to find water, girls who are terrified to step out on the streets at night (a basic human right), or strays that are kicked and abused for pure entertainment.

            Feeling helpless is only going to over-burden me with stress. But somehow, I feel like I have a responsibility. I feel it should be everybody’s responsibility to be aware, informed, and take action. It doesn’t matter how much or little you have. It is every human being’s responsibility to look out for each other to ensure a happy and safe life for everybody out there. Growing up in a privileged first world society, it’s easy to overlook, and move on. I get it. I was one of those people once upon a time.

            All I guess I want to try to put out there with this post is don’t. Please don’t let your petty issues takes precedence. We all live in the same planet. Don’t drown away in your miseries, because odds are, there’s someone out there that’s literally fighting to get a morsel of food each and everyday.

            I always had a desire to reach out and help, any small way I could. Whether it  was at school, college, or even as an adult, I wanted to contribute. But now I’m growing restless, that I need to be doing a lot more. I don’t know what that is, but I just can’t sit back and wait. I was not meant to be on this Earth to just wait. There’s a duty, a responsibility that I have, to work towards the betterment and growth of our society….I ask you…do I have your support as well?  

The Truth Behind Bad Boys

 Okay, DISCLAIMER goes here, before people start bashing the hell outta me... In no way am I trying to generalize or say this is how all men are. This post is entirely based on my opinions and personal experience. And I’m also not trying to put these guys under the bus either. It’s just a way for me to let out how I feel.

Basic sentiment of life goes something like this: You can’t always have what you want. I was not exactly raised this way. I was always told my entire life that if I liked something or wanted something, I could by all means chase it to obtain it. Whether it’s professionally or personally, this has been the motto of my life. So what happens when a girl of 25, merely trying to figure life out, and is in a disillusioned state of mind that life isn’t all that hard, dates? Well, to say the least, a lot…

I was a shy, awkward, gawky high school kid, and even more so after being submerged in a foreign culture. Figuring out high school was hard enough; trying to fit into a sea full of perfectly sun-tanned, super hot Asian American teenagers was ten times harder. With their bikini clad bodies and over the top confidence, the girls in my high school were intimidating enough. So I never gave dating a try, and frankly didn’t have much of an interest either.

The quintessential good girl image that I was so tired of maintaining, mostly out of fear, grew restless in me. By the time I was 22 and back home in my country, India, did I begin to date. What attracted me right away? The bad boy. See, it’s the rebel inside of you that suddenly wakes up when you decide to associate yourself with a so-called ‘rebel’ himself. You feel tough and cool hanging around the guy who’s rough around the edges and has the stereotypical I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-anything attitude. As if that wasn’t a turn on in itself, these boys let me be fearless and free, something I had never felt before.

But all of it is just a façade. See, these boys are constantly trying to prove themselves to be manly enough for you. So their true feelings are always bottled away in secrecy. They will charm you with their sexy lopsided smiles and those deep dark brooding eyes, tempting you to give yourself to him. But they will never ever real their true selves. In all honesty, they want to escape reality, a reality about who they truly are inside.

There’s actually nothing confident or manly about bad boys. They lure you in to get your attention only to feel better and happier about themselves. Inside, they’re actually terrified to reveal their true selves. Their only source of validation in life is to feel desired by you, because they’ve lived their whole lives under fear and insecurity. I (not once, but all three times) broke through this ‘bad boy’ façade and let them feel true emotions for the first time. And they, out of fear, ran. To them, revealing their emotions was disclosing their vulnerabilities. And no bad boy could ever live up to this name if he did so. They can’t be honest with you, but what’s worse, is that they can never be honest with themselves. To avoid being called the weaker sex, they’ll close themselves up, run, and simply prepare for their next target.

All I’ve learned is

1)   It’s true that a guy who can reveal his emotions is a MAN.

2)   Being honest with yourself means being honest with your emotions first.

3)   Lastly, just stay away from the bad boys.

Maybe, the fourth time’s the charm for me? Who knows? I’ll keep you updated.