So I got invited for lunch at a friend's house the other day. Her mom went to the extent of preparing a traditional Brahmin Tamil lunch served on banana leaves. To make things even more traditional, we ate on the floor. Was an interesting experience...
Anyway that's not what I want to blog about today. What I couldn't help but notice was her mom, brother, and the small details of her family, and compare them to the families I've been around in other parts of the world. Greeting us in her house with a warm smile, open arms, and a cotton sari tied in a messy manner, Roma's (name changed) mom welcomed us into her house. After finishing our lunches, her mom then joined us on the bed, cramped in with the 6 of us for a little girl gossip. She casually teased Roma, along with my other friends about various topics ranging from boys, marriage, dressing up and so much more.
Soon enough, Roma's brother, Varun (name changed) strolled in with basketball shorts and a jersey, tossing his bag aside. Making himself comfortable on the floor, Varun licked his glass of milk clean and then began practicing his basketball moves, until his mom yelled at him to get his books out.
I just sat there observing all these scenarios, drawing comparisons between Indian and Western families. It was very fascinating to see how Roma's mom was so easygoing and comfortable with her daughter's friends. When I used to live in Hawaii, and I visited my friend's home once, her parents were pretty much out of the scene. Although they ensured that I was very comfortable, personal space was very important for not only her daughter, but for herself too. Interactions with parents were even more distant when I lived in Indiana, the midwestern region of the US. My friend's mom would rarely interact with us. Just a hi and hello and very formal conversations to follow.
The strange thing is I felt slightly uncomfortable with all the closeness that I experienced at Roma's house, perhaps because I'm still not used to the different cultural norms having been brought up abroad. Being a collectivist society, Indians love to socialize and be a part of a bigger group. When it comes to families, one's aunts, uncles, moms, dads, are almost seen as your own. I felt the need to ask Roma's mom for help (as they normally do abroad), while my friends just made themselves comfortable and began eating! In the Western context, my friends would always keep a formal distance with my parents, by asking them if they needed help, thanking them repeatedly, and making conversation very now and then.
On top of that, the simplicity with which Roma's family functioned was interesting. They slept, ate, and sat on the floor so often! Containing not many decorative items, the living room just consisted of a few chairs and a TV. Spending time with each other seemed to be enough, clearly indicating that they were all very close to each other. Roma and her mom would exchange jokes very often in Tamil, as her mom brushed up close to her for comfort. So different from seeing kids abroad just lock themselves up in their rooms, only with their headphones and computers for company...
I guess there are still many things I have yet to adjust to. It's all about finding the perfect balance between my life abroad and my life back in India. Drawing differences between my life then and now really do help to broaden my mindset even more. It was a very unique comparative experience for me that day, aside from enjoying a delicious meal!
Anyway that's not what I want to blog about today. What I couldn't help but notice was her mom, brother, and the small details of her family, and compare them to the families I've been around in other parts of the world. Greeting us in her house with a warm smile, open arms, and a cotton sari tied in a messy manner, Roma's (name changed) mom welcomed us into her house. After finishing our lunches, her mom then joined us on the bed, cramped in with the 6 of us for a little girl gossip. She casually teased Roma, along with my other friends about various topics ranging from boys, marriage, dressing up and so much more.
Soon enough, Roma's brother, Varun (name changed) strolled in with basketball shorts and a jersey, tossing his bag aside. Making himself comfortable on the floor, Varun licked his glass of milk clean and then began practicing his basketball moves, until his mom yelled at him to get his books out.
I just sat there observing all these scenarios, drawing comparisons between Indian and Western families. It was very fascinating to see how Roma's mom was so easygoing and comfortable with her daughter's friends. When I used to live in Hawaii, and I visited my friend's home once, her parents were pretty much out of the scene. Although they ensured that I was very comfortable, personal space was very important for not only her daughter, but for herself too. Interactions with parents were even more distant when I lived in Indiana, the midwestern region of the US. My friend's mom would rarely interact with us. Just a hi and hello and very formal conversations to follow.
The strange thing is I felt slightly uncomfortable with all the closeness that I experienced at Roma's house, perhaps because I'm still not used to the different cultural norms having been brought up abroad. Being a collectivist society, Indians love to socialize and be a part of a bigger group. When it comes to families, one's aunts, uncles, moms, dads, are almost seen as your own. I felt the need to ask Roma's mom for help (as they normally do abroad), while my friends just made themselves comfortable and began eating! In the Western context, my friends would always keep a formal distance with my parents, by asking them if they needed help, thanking them repeatedly, and making conversation very now and then.
On top of that, the simplicity with which Roma's family functioned was interesting. They slept, ate, and sat on the floor so often! Containing not many decorative items, the living room just consisted of a few chairs and a TV. Spending time with each other seemed to be enough, clearly indicating that they were all very close to each other. Roma and her mom would exchange jokes very often in Tamil, as her mom brushed up close to her for comfort. So different from seeing kids abroad just lock themselves up in their rooms, only with their headphones and computers for company...
I guess there are still many things I have yet to adjust to. It's all about finding the perfect balance between my life abroad and my life back in India. Drawing differences between my life then and now really do help to broaden my mindset even more. It was a very unique comparative experience for me that day, aside from enjoying a delicious meal!
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