Stressbuster 2: Dealing with the ‘New’

          Ok, so when there’s no one else to talk to, you gotta rely on that pen and paper to peg down all your thoughts. I haven’t blogged in quite a while now. For those of you wondering, no I didn’t just run away. I’ve joined a one-year media course, and it’s pretty much taken over my whole life. I won’t say that I regret making this decision, but I won’t say it’s been a cake walk.

            For the first time, I’m living away from my parents, and that too in an Indian city, ALL BY MYSELF. Yes, I like saying that over and over again, because it gives me this sense of independence and responsibility. I can’t say that I’ve become completely independent in these past two months. I still complain and rant quite a bit with my hostelites, when I can’t get Mom on the phone. Nevertheless, it’s been quite a ride…

            I always thought living in a college dorm would be such a cool experience. Joining a hostel has been really fun. I’ve made some really great friends, who understand me from every angle (THANK GOD). My roomie is a sweetheart, always willing to listen to my rants, picking up after me whenever I’m too exhausted, and the BEST HUGGER ever. It’s easy just climbing down one floor from the hostel to my classes. The food is also pretty decent. Sounds like heaven, right? Not exactly. There are curfews to adhere too, limitations when it comes to going out, and learning to manage time. With washing clothes, washing dishes, cleaning your own room, and the assignments of course, the work load just keeps building on up.

            The first month was mentally and physically draining, because I had no idea how to handle it all. I feel like I’ve gotten a bit better, but occasionally have my outbursts. I can’t put the entire blame on the workload. Sometimes, I tend to over-stress and over-react to things I really don’t need to. I’m learning to LET GO sometimes. If teachers just won’t hear you out, just move on. If you just can’t get yourself to get those assignments done, don’t beat yourself up. If someone doesn’t get my point of view even after strenuous efforts to convince, forget it. Life is going to be filled with that, and it’s up to me how I handle it all.

            In these past two months, I’ve traveled for two hours, balancing my luggage around, through the Bombay trains. I’ve pushed myself through sweaty crowds. I’ve hounded around to find a celebrity to interview. I’ve tracked down a mayor. I’ve registered myself to vote. I’m pretty proud of myself if you ask me. And there’s only that much more to come…

            When Mommy and Daddy aren’t there to keep you steady, it’s all up to you. There’s gonna be a whole lot of ups and downs in store for me. Today’s crazy day was just a minor taste of it. I can’t let myself get carried away with the negatives. I’m thankful to have three meals a day, a roof over my head, some good people with me, and my loving and concerned parents ready to help out any way they possibly can. Not to worry, Mom and Dad, I’m doing alright. I can make it through the next eight months. It’s all going to be worth it, because at the end of the day it’s about making the most of each and every experience. Just wish me luck, guys!

A New Chapter Begins…

           The butterflies just wouldn’t stop. A million thoughts and worries kept flooding my mind. Was I making the right decision? Was I ready to move away from parents? Start a new life altogether in a brand new city?

           Yes, this all sounds a bit dramatic, but this is how I was feeling after my acceptance to Sophia College in Mumbai. Of course I knew deep inside that enrolling into this one-year media course would probably be one of the most valuable experiences of my life, but the apprehension just wouldn’t stop. And now here I am sitting on my hostel bed blogging away, after dropping Mom off at the airport, on my first day away from home.

            It all seems like a complete blur now. Only two months ago, I was cooped up in my room focused on cracking these entrances, clueless about the outcome. I got accepted, and will start my first day of classes tomorrow. It’s all very nerve-wracking. Of course I’m extremely excited to venture into different fields of media, and do what I had been craving for all this time. Throwing myself in projects, interacting with professionals, working non-stop, and learning so much along the way…but to be honest I’ve never done something like this before.

            Although I’ve moved around my whole life, I do have to admit I’ve been pretty sheltered, and have lived a fairly comfortable life.  I’ve relied on my parents for everything, and here I was in a brand new city, immersed amongst new people, about to begin a new life, but this time completely alone. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Bombay, but this thought scared me a bit. Today, when I was moving in and unpacking all my things, for a moment, I just threw myself on the bed surrounded by various things, completely overwhelmed. I wept silently, “I don’t think I can do this, this shifting in thing, all over again, and this time alone…” But, Mom, always being the strong pillar of support for me for years, reassured me this was how I was to learn.

            “Hi, I’m Kriti, and I’m your hostel rep…” came a warm greeting from a girl with a giant smile on her face. It wasn’t until half an hour later that Kriti and I traversed up to the top floor for a splendid sea view of the city, chatting away about Bollywood movies. Soon, four other grinning girls surrounded us in my tiny room. From Bollywood, to Kerala, to senior hostelites, to the course, to Bandra Hill shopping, we talked about it all. The nerves loosed up a bit. Mom smiled nodding as if saying, “It’ll all be okay.”

            So now my two excitable roommates are back, chattering away in Hindi with their ‘apun’ ‘apun’ Bumbai slang. This is going to be an interesting ride, a few ups, a few downs, but all in all I’m looking forward to it. So here we go…

‘How Personal Is Personal…’

           And so I walked into the restaurant, jam-packed with people sitting in crowded clusters. Nobody really looked at one each other, (which came as a surprise honestly), but rather focused on their hearty meals, munching down noisily. We instantaneously climbed up to the AC dining hall for comfort, only to be disappointed when they said they didn’t serve dosas and idlis during lunch. So we traversed back into the hot mess downstairs. I know what you’re thinking…why in the world would you want to eat in that crowded, sweaty, noisy dining hall. Well, can you blame me if I want me some piping hot idlis and dosas, smothered in coconut chutney?! I didn’t care, I was determined. And so, the interesting experience began…

            Due to the lack of space, complete strangers were packed together in tables fighting for space in the restaurant. Now it came to my realization why they didn’t stare at one another. It’s because people were eating with people they’d never met! As much as we tried to ask for a separate table, we were obliged to seat ourselves in a tiny table of four, seated across two male strangers. The awkwardness was tangible. The repeated attempts to look anywhere but at the two men eating across me made it difficult to even concentrate at my meal. Forget concentrating on my meal, as my eyes couldn’t help but slide over at the adjacent platters of rice, fried chicken, and bowls of sambar. Completely immersed in animated conversations, they didn’t seem to notice at all, while Mom and I cringed in discomfort.

            Encroaching upon personal space is something Westerners are not comfortable with at all. Due to the individualistic and independent nature of Westerners (according to me), as opposed to the collectivist Indian society, personal space is valued. Having grown up there, I’ve had multiple awkward encounters in crowded elevators, shops, restaurants where I can’t help but flinch greatly (and I mean jump ten feet high) at personal contact with a stranger. However, what I see bewilders me even greatly. I’ve seen strangers affectionately squeezing the cheeks of random cute babies, or the vibrant vegetable ‘ammas’ shoving me aside for space on train journeys, or my friends and I wedged in a sandwich between sweaty strangers, all scrambling for their burgers at the college canteen lines. I can imagine just the looks of horror my American classmates would give me right now…

            Despite the stark contrast in cultures, it is interesting to note some contradictions in each society. Although Westerners will otherwise not dig their noses in your business, when it comes to helping someone in great need, they will come to your rescue. I have witnessed more than one instance. For example, a huge crowd flocked together to defend a young girl getting physically assaulted by her boyfriend out on the streets. Yet, when I saw a nearly similar instance of a husband assaulting his wife at a train station in Chennai, people barely glanced over. In a society where we’re constantly concerned about our neighbor’s happenings, it’s sad to see we don’t leap up at the opportunity to help strangers. We’d rather just watch, and stay out of it.

From Yaps to Texts

            You ever been in those situations where it suddenly gets extremely quiet and you look around you and all you see are heads down, fingers tapping, headphones locked in the ears? Normally you’d be one of them, but today is one of those rare days that you’re not glued to your phone and rather want to look out the window, and take the wonders of the world in. Just the other day, I saw this awesomely inspiring clip called ‘Look Up,’ encouraging young people to get off their phones, and go play, through an incredible love story. Yes, it’s the tech savvy generation, where everyone’s all about their iPhones, Google tablets, 2G, 3G, FG? And the list just goes on…but have you ever just stopped and wondered what is it doing to our communication skills?

            There has been more than one occasion where I have come across people who are extremely chatty via ‘Whatsapp’ or ‘FB,’ but when it comes to being face to face, they shut down completely! I feel like there are people nowadays who just do not know how to have a face to face conversation, because they’ve gotten addicted to the virtual world! Indians in general are WAY MORE social in nature than Westerners. So it’s understandable that most Westerns close up and take more time to socialize when they’re beyond their comfort zones. They’ll adapt an ‘I don’t know you yet, so I have my guard up but I'll still be as sweet as possible,’ personality as they venture into the course of making friends. Then of course, when they’re comfortable, there’s no stopping them ;)

            From my experiences coming here, I feel like the Indian youth is also becoming less and less social. I sure hope not, because, one of the major qualities of our collectivist culture is the ability to make friends quite easily. But, I feel like ever since Whatsapp, Viber, Line, and all these social media apps have started trending, a lot of us have just forgotten to be social. We may come to our college barely glancing or acknowledging the same person, who we spent hours texting with, the night before. Calling has also just gone out of the window, as with busy hours, or simply to avoid the awkwardness, we just TEXT our close ones. I admit it, I am guilty of this, but I do try my BEST to give my 100% attention to the person sitting next to me, rather than the technological device in my bag. And yes, it stays in my bag, for the most part: 1) because I rarely have pockets, and 2) because I want to stay focused on more important things. This tends to bug the “bejezzus” off my friends who claim I NEVER pick up my phone (but that was only in college)…

            We spend so much time and attention on our devices sometimes that we almost start reading between the lines! Was that message intended with sarcasm, bitterness, or good humor? Did he really just send me the ‘winky face?’ What did I say that made her send a one word reply?! But, it shows the double check mark... is he ignoring my message?!?!?!? These are burning questions we must ask ourselves. 

            God forbid, we don’t completely forget to socialize. A fast paced world, efficiency, or sometimes just plain boredom make us resort to our devices. But, I will say I have seen acts of socialization and mingling WAY MORE in India than in the states. It’s refreshing to see a throng of teenagers huddled together, chit chatting, and laughing along at each other’s jokes. Only with true social interactions, without our devices, will we truly become closer to one another.

Take Me To Another World: A Kathakali Performance

          The audience hushed into silence. The drum beats rose to a crescendo, as the multi-colored curtain slowly inched down. Revealing fiery, red eyes, Ravana rose dramatically from behind. The painted face glared at the audience, as his nimble fingers moved gracefully to each beat of the pounding drums. I watched in complete awe at the miniscule movements of the Kathakali dancer, as he told the story of Ravana.

            The stage shook as Ravana pounded his feet angrily, as his body swiftly circled the stage. His eyebrows twitching and fingers fluttering delicately, he brought a certain mischief and humor in his theatrical display. Then, as in within seconds, the music softened into a lull, as Ravana sat back down in deep contemplation. Picking up the edge of his cloth gingerly, he began to fan himself. The drummers smiled at one another, familiar with the routine, yet somehow just as entranced. Ravana, in rhythm with the drummers, began swaying back and forth. A tender face soon replaced the angry one as he caressed a baby gently in his arms.

            ‘BOOM!’ went the drums, shaking the audience alive. Ravana traversed the stage leaping from one end to the other. The drums thundered along as the earth beneath us rumbled. I felt myself tapping my feet and fingers along to the beat of the drums. The skies darkened, but Ravana’s light continued to shine brightly. For me and everyone else in the audience, we were no longer in Besant Nagar Beach, or Chennai, or India.  I forgot about everything else, as I let myself get carried away into another world. A mystifying aura filled the open gardens, as the drums pulsated through…

            This Kathakali dance performance was one of the best things I ever got to experience here in Chennai, and rightly so, as I reached the end of my undergraduate career. I had never witnessed this classical dance before, and walked in not knowing what to expect. I was a bit distracted at first, but as soon as the dancer took to the stage, it was as if everything else didn’t exist for me. Maybe it was the dramatic and slightly frightening painted face of the dancer, or his extravagant costume, his soft yet powerful movements, or the steadying beat of the drums, in which I lost myself. I realized I had been watching with my mouth half open. What I also realized was that dance is what gives me ultimate joy, something that had been missing out of my life for a long time. I will forever cherish and remember this enthralling performance. What an experience it was!

    
                   
     

‘India: We Are One In Many’

            ‘No, that’s not how you do it!’

            ‘You’re not doing it right!’

            ‘This won’t work at all!’

            These were some of the underlying arguments I have heard in almost every group project. Ideas are constantly knocked aside or laughed off. A free flow of ideas turns into a catastrophic competition of being the best. The worst part is nobody knows how to listen and work together.

            Whenever there are multiple personalities from diverse backgrounds, there is trouble. At least, that’s what I’ve experienced at my college. At first, it sounds truly inspiring to work with a multitude of thoughts and ideas, but in the case of Indian society, we can’t get anything done due to difference of opinion. Just look at our politicians fighting it over with pepper spray in the Parliament to resolve issues. I mean, seriously? But you can’t put the entire blame on them. If we can’t seem to work together in groups, classrooms, neighborhoods, city streets, we can’t expect the leaders of our country to work together. The root of the problem lies in a small scale first.

[DISCLAIMER]: These are purely my thoughts and opinions based on my own experiences. In no way do I intend to generalize, as this is purely my way to free up my mind. I just hope you get something out of this!

            Driving around the Chennai streets is a nightmare, as is in probably every Indian metropolitan city. The other day, my dad was about to drive out of our main gate, when the entire entrance was blocked by traffic. Autos, cars, buses, all began honking simultaneously, fighting for space, and trying to get through first. Trying to maneuver through skillfully, my dad got caught in the jam-packed mess. Nobody bothered to let the other pass, move aside, or courteously give each other space. See that is the problem. Everyone wants to win, and be ahead in India. We forget how to work together, because we are so absorbed in ourselves. This problem could have simply been solved if any driver had been courteous and patient enough to let another pass by in an orderly fashion. Instead, everyone wants to be the first and get ahead. Not having a traffic police officer doesn’t help much either…

            Similar incidents occur in crowded places like banks, cafes, etc. Nobody knows how to wait in a line! Once again, people are constantly pushing and shuffling for space. My first time ordering something in my college café came as a complete shock. I politely stood waiting for others to line up behind me, but oh noooo….a mob of students ambushed me rushing to the front. Various hands reached out around me grabbing their orders. Multiple voices rang out all shouting orders. I felt like I was going to pass out. Somehow, I managed to safely carry my grilled chicken sandwich. Basic courtesy is one way of looking at it, but nobody was concerned for the other.

            Perhaps it is because we are the second most populous country in this world, holding over 35 states, with over 6 ethnic groups, 5 minority groups, 3 major religions, 33 languages. An individual finds it difficult to make something of oneself, because of the complexities in our society. Fierce competition also makes it a struggle to rise up to the top. Our parents pamper us to the core, and we don’t learn individual responsibility until after college when we venture out into the work world. We think we are always right. Perhaps, this is why everyone is so self-absorbed, and can’t seem to work together as a nation. Yes, there is bound to be a difference of opinions and clashing personalities, but what we must realize that in this diversity is our unity. Rather than putting each other down, we need to work together as a team. It can only start from the individual, in order for society to grow.

            So stop for the passerby driving the next time you’re driving. Close your mouth, and actually listen to your fellow peers the next time you sense a discussion turning into a debate. Line up when you get your order to avoid getting squashed, or squashing someone else. All this may seem simple, but we've gotta start small, and work from the bottom for our nation to progress as ONE. 

And remember, (a bit clichéd), but there is never an ‘I’ in TEAM. 

           

           

StressBuster 1: Forget, and Live!

          As I sat there in the auto, on the long ride back home from the mall, I couldn’t help but begin to ponder about how much I’ve changed. I came to India 2 and a half years ago, filled with so much hope and enthusiasm to come back to my country after several years! I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, but I knew a positive attitude would be the best way to go. Unfortunately, the amount of stress I have undergone because of difficult circumstances and people in this new environment, has been unimaginable. I complain a lot more, I cry a lot, and I wish to get out of here as soon as possible. Yes, it’s true that I over think and overanalyze the smallest things, but that’s just how I am (though I’m trying to get better at that). But as I sat there in that auto in deep introspection, I compelled myself to look at things from the same perspective as I had, when I first came here.

            I began noticing the same things I once used to be amused by, such as the cobbler fixing shoes on the sidewalks, the nonsensical signboards, or the expert way the ‘autowala’ maneuvered through traffic. Witnessing these same, bizarre spectacles can become uninteresting. I realized I had gotten sick of it. But, still I made myself observe these same things I was bemused by once upon a time.

            The simple way, in which two girls linked arms, and hurriedly skipped through the traffic, caught my eye. There was so much commotion going on, yet these two girls seemed to be in no stress whatsoever. A woman, dressed in a plain salwar suit, abruptly brushed aside the sweat droplets on her forehead, and waved down an auto. Vendors called out from stalls carrying the summer coolers: watermelon, sugarcane juice, sweet lime juice, and coconut water. I smiled, remembering how excited I was when I first landed in Chennai, in the blazing heat, to take a refreshing sip out of a coconut.                         The auto then made a sharp U-turn, hitting the always bustling streets of T-Nagar. I braced myself for the chaotic activities, but found myself laughing, and strangely enjoying the craziness I witnessed. A massive horde of people stumbled up the stairs of Saravana Stores, carrying large shopping bags. Colorful rows of kurtis, pajamas, and scarves lined the streets. Despite the madness, people still seemed to be enjoying themselves laughing, chatting away with friends, holding onto their loved ones, as they moved through the chaos.

            I laugh and smile now, nostalgic of how I felt when I first came to India. Somehow, over the past two years, I have gotten a bit lost in this chaos. Difficult situations, people, and negative experiences overall have got me down. There are times where I have begun to have regrets of our decision of coming back to India. I have felt like everything was wrong, and that I just do not belong here at all.

            Today, I come to a realization that at the end of the day, I am an Indian, and I need to accept the fact that this is my country. I need to do a 360 on the attitude, and begin looking at things with a new perspective. There are two ways of going about this: either I sit there and cry, or I pick myself back up and make things right. Because, life is short, and there is no point looking back on what has already happened. If it’s one thing this crazy country has taught me is to go with the flow. Now that I am finishing up college, new adventures, people, experiences await me. I invite them all with open arms, ready to take on the challenges. I know there will be times that I’ll still feel low, but life isn’t over. Sometimes, you just have to let that spontaneity in you burst out and say, “Hey I live once. So let me just enjoy this crazy life!”

            Also, playing that ‘Happy’ song by Pharrell Williams, and watching those cute remakes really gets me smiling. “Because I’m HAPPYYYYYYY….!” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IbTSG14LzM)

East Or West, Comedy Is The Best! (Ellen vs. Kapil)

            Comedy is something, which can only come naturally. A punch-line here, a quaint facial expression there, and bam! The two superstars of comedy, who have climbed to the pinnacle of their success come from opposite parts of the world. From the west, Ellen DeGeneres holds the title of the ‘funniest woman in America,’ transitioning from a live comedienne to a talk show host. She has been in the business for over 15 years now, and is currently filming the 11^th season of her hit talk show, ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show.’ Matching up to her, is Indian comic superstar, Kapil Sharma, who has won millions of hearts in India and abroad by launching his very own show, ‘Comedy Nights With Kapil.’ Although poles apart culturally, both shows draw some very interesting parallels that will make you continue laughing your hearts out.

            Although both shows have managed to grab the highest TRP ratings primarily through the wit and charm of the host and the content, they differ greatly in their structures and timing. The Ellen Show airs as a daytime talk show, everyday at 3pm for just one hour. It is short, crisp, and pretty straightforward following the general talk show, and ‘interview’ format. Commercial breaks are also timed every 15-20 minutes, resulting in about 3-4 breaks. CNWK serves to be a bit different. Airing only on Saturday and Sunday nights, the show lasts anywhere from an hour and a half, sometimes extending beyond. Unlike a typical talk show format, CNWK incorporates creative elements, such as a skit, followed by celebrity interviews, audience interactions, sprinkled along with goofy dances and crazy characters.

            Because CNWK tends to focus more on the comedic angle (thus the name), there are fictional elements to it. Perhaps what keeps the Indian audience primarily entertained is the craziness throughout the show. The show opens with Kapil’s monologue, followed by a few audience interactions. Depending upon the celebrity guest, it may cut straight into a flashy Bollywood dance number, or a musical flourish welcoming the celebrity guest. Other times, it cuts straight to a skit of his overly animated Punjabi ‘family,’ or as he likes to refer to them as ‘lunatics.’ The craziness is evident through the flamboyant characters and bizarre storylines.

            Then comes the setting. Set place in a grand 2-story house, ‘Bittu’ (Kapil’s character’s name) invites guests into a lavish living room for his magazine’s interview. A fake road lies directly in front of the living room, inviting lone passer-byes to join in on the fun. There is also a cardboard cut out of a goat resting by the petite kitchen to the right. A live band continues to provide a comic effect throughout the show.

            The Ellen Show is much less elaborate in the costuming, characters, and setting, mainly because it is a talk show. The calming California palm trees are laid out as a backdrop against the red, velvet sofas for Ellen’s guests. The audience is seated slanting upwards directly across Ellen. There are a few flat screens arranged throughout the set. Similar to the Kapil Show, Ellen begins with a monologue, welcomed by a loud, cheering audience.  After some punches and laughs from the audience, she dances through the audience, with the DJ blasting the hottest tunes to the max. Highlighting her motto, ‘Laugh, Dance, Ellen,’ Ellen makes sure to do it all. There is a bit more interaction with the DJ, and then the show flows into interviews. The unique element of her show is that Ellen invites both celebrity and non-celebrity guests, adding a sense of realism along with the glamour. From talented child prodigies, to beauticians, to military families, Ellen seeks to make everyone happy.

            Both shows succeed in making their audiences happy. Perhaps that is the biggest similarity between the two shows and the way they’re carried out by their hosts. A generous person at heart, Ellen proves it by helping others out. Whether it’s through giveaways, fun games, contests, and prizes, Ellen seeks to reach out to her audience and give. Aside from her comedy, Ellen has many different segments in her show such as ‘Cash for Kindness,’ in which she sends her staff members to display acts of kindness and affection to everyday citizens.

            Kapil succeeds in bringing the same joy to his audiences in a different manner. More appropriate for the Indian context, Kapil has lively audience interactions, in which he gently teases his audience members, getting them to laugh along. He allows fans to interact with their favorite celebrity guests, by dancing, singing along, hugging, or simply asking a question. The compliments and expressions of enjoyment prove Kapil’s ability to make people happy. Both shows have personalities whose laughter is contagious for all. For Ellen, it’s her DJ, and for Kapil, it’s legendary cricket personality, Navjod Sidhu, who he affectionately refers to as ‘PaJi,’

            There is not a hint of similarity in the physical appeal of Ellen and Kapil. But what makes them both click is their wit, charm, and humor attracting millions all over the globe. Ellen signing off with her usual ‘Be kind to one another,’ and Kapil’s signature ‘Keep laughing and watching CNWK’ strike a common chord in the audience’s minds. Despite continents apart, both countries, India and the US, have brilliant treasures in the field of entertainment, who will hopefully continue to spread joy and love throughout the world.

I Speak On ‘Cheating’

           It’s that time of the week again, exams. Ugh. I swear writing exams every single month is a headache in itself, and then forcing yourself to sit in those hot, stuffy rooms for 3 hours, gives a greater reason to complain. As I sat there on those rock hard seats, trying my best to concentrate, it started up again…the ‘pssts’ and ‘eh macha’ sprinkled throughout the excited whispers. I was done with my exam by then, and I’m sitting there listening to the boy behind me, discussing answers as candidly, as talking about the weather, with his next-door neighbor. As I sat there processing what was going on, I began formulating what I’m going to write about cheating in my next blog. So here it is…

            I understand if you don’t study, or don’t feel like it. Honestly, I don’t either, especially with the dry and repetitive structure of the Indian education system. It’ll bore anyone to tears! But that doesn’t mean you take the short way out. I touched upon this in my first blog, how I feel everyone here is ready to slide by, without actually doing the work. This is what I notice when it comes to exams at my college. It’s like students literally come for these exams just to chill for 3 hours, and giggle their way through the answer sheets. While, the rest of us (or should I say bare minimum of us) work our $&%^# off to elaborate on answers!

            The worst part is the teachers and the way they handle the situations. A light pat on the shoulders, accompanied with the slight drone of the student’s name is apparently enough to get them to stop, until they start up again in two minutes. This is the way a student gets reprimanded. My old schools, you try stuff like this, they catch you, you’re thrown out of the institution within seconds. CONSEQUENCES! Has no one ever heard of that in this place?! Rather than reprimanding students’ actions, the teachers overlook it, pretending to be focused on something else. Even worse, the female teachers will smile and shyly turn away, when male students give em that ‘hey, I’m just fooling around, miss’ look. Oh my god.

            So here’s what I say. The base of sleaze, bribery and corruption in our country, according to me, lies in the education system. If our students are not stopped now, you really think things are going to get better? No one’s asking you to become the saintly Mother Teresa, but for once, just be honest! Is it really that much to ask? In a country so rooted in tradition and culture, we have not instilled the basic morals and values within our young ones. We are the future, they say. What I say is you’re just a walking hypocrite if you blame the corrupt politicians for the fallbacks of our country, if you’re sitting there in class, rapidly copying away answers.

            The whispering boy behind me, who I know pretty well, wants to become an IAS officer. O___o This position is the pinnacle of prestige and repute in the civil services category in India. You are representing the nation, and its people, who will rely on you for the growth of the nation. There is nothing more honorable (so it’s considered) than getting selected as an IAS officer. And I’m sitting there thinking, this guy’s gonna be an IAS officer?

            Please, just for once, try just doing your best. Dishonesty is not the way to go. 

        

I decided to jot all this down on the first day of exams, hoping that after reading this, you may change your mind, and keep your eyes on your own paper, perhaps :P

I Speak On ‘The Ordinary’

             He steadily made his way through the congested roads, staying on one side the whole time, the long cane tapping left and right for guidance. Not once did he flinch or halt, completely confident about his senses leading him to the right path. I watched in complete awe as this blind man maneuvered his way expertly through the crowded traffic. I couldn’t help but gape at him, stunned at his precision and comfort of the streets, despite his disability. People stepped aside quickly, afraid to get in the man’s way. But, the blind man he kept his head up, and kept walking along steadily. Tap, tap, tap…

            I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a sight in my life until I moved to India. The simplest things, which we sometimes tend to overlook are the most important. I’m sure you’ve all heard that before, but yet you still manage to complain about your daily struggles. I know I do, but after seeing this man today I came to a realization, I have so much, yet I’m still not content. This man did not have eyes, but did not show a hint of sorrow, depression, or struggle in the confident way that he walked.             So I thought I’d write about this today…

            Then there are the vendors, who amuse me on a day to day basis. They climb aboard the trains balancing giant baskets of flowers, vegetables, or racks of junk items. The art of balancing is hard enough, yet these people manage to do it while balancing a crying child on their hips! Vendors are spread out all over the city.

            Walking through the bustling Tambaram market, the endless chatter of bargaining rings through my ears. The vegetable vendors toss up their hands in distress, refusing to agree with the persistent customers. They sit cross-legged, their sarees pulled up high for comfort. They adeptly dig out change from their inner blous, while simultaneously calculating and shuffling it over to the customer. Spinach leaves lay scattered, as tomatoes roll out into the messy walkways. But everyone is aware of the scene, and knows exactly where to step as they patrol through the chaos. The entire process is so mesmerizing, as they don’t miss a beat!

            Then, there’s the coffee man strolling through narrow alleyways, methodically pouring chai from one steel glass to the next. He doesn’t spill a drop, and smoothly hands it over to the customer.

            There is a systematic method in the non-systematic environment, which exists in India. As I wait for my college bus, there is this lady who sweeps the ‘sidewalks’ every morning. There is a steady rhythm of the ‘jhadoos’ (brooms) and the strokes hitting the grounds. Keeping her eyes fixated on the ground, she never hesitates nor breaks the rhythm. You are forced to move away from her, as she robotically moves through the sidewalk without averting her eyes from the ground.

            In my eyes, ordinary becomes extraordinary here in India. Every beat, every move, every step is something to take in. Despite the struggles and madness that people in this country have to face on a daily basis, I honestly commend their abilities, as ordinary as they may be.

I Speak On ‘Sincerity and Hard Work’

So I was gonna get to this topic later, but today’s incident kinda triggered me into writing a blog post asap! I’ve noticed this one too many times, when people want the shortcut here in India, without much hard work! Everyone wants to be at the front; everyone wants the attention; everyone wants to be the leader. Not necessarily for the work to be done, but just for namesakes. I really don’t want to brag about myself, but I’ll be real and say yes I work hard, and I am a bit of a perfectionist (ok more like a HUGE perfectionist). Unfortunately, my sincerity and dedication backfires on me completely making me the fool. So here is my rant on that:

DISCLAIMER: Don’t take any of these thoughts and opinions personally. This blog is purely to let my feelings out. I just hope you get something out of this.

 A couple weeks ago, I had a question that I needed to ask my teacher, whom I called up. I could’ve gone to my fellow classmates, but they’re not all that helpful at times! So instead, I decided to take the safe route, and clarify my doubts with my teacher. The next day it completely blew up on my face. My teacher yells at ME for not checking up with my classmates on this, saying that apparently I had missed her directions she had given earlier. I tried to justify my actions by stating I just wanted to be sure and ask her. But clearly, calling up the teacher and “disturbing her” was not the right thing to do. I came back home completely stumped.

Then just recently, I tried to take initiative to get a project done with a few other people. This project was due very soon, so being the perfectionist that I am, I decided to get active and encourage my team members to do the same. But oh my god! SO MUCH DRAMA. They all completely reject my suggestions, pushing my ideas to the side. Which is fine by me if you do, but somehow I felt this was all personal by the way that I got attacked for wanting to get some work done. Once again, my efforts to be productive backfired on me, and I’m the bad guy…

So I guess I am overly sincere and hardworking. I’ve always been like that, but I guess in India, you just gotta go with the flow! People screw up, let them. People delay, let them. People shove aside your suggestions, let them (sometimes). I will work harder to ease up a bit, and work the way others do here. But I just wish sometimes, people would get me! Instead of tempers running high, work with me. This clash of culture is so difficult for me, that sometimes I feel like pulling out all my hair. Honestly, there’s not much I can do about other people. So yes, I will work on bettering myself.

But one thing, I want people to take away from this, it doesn’t hurt to appreciate sincerity once in a while. Yes it’s easy to get things done through shortcuts, but the result of hard work can be beautiful. I just wish some people would get that…

I Speak On ‘Women’

           I was just now watching a brilliant teen show about women empowerment. It’s called ‘Halla Bol’ on Bindass, and it’s a brand new one. It got me to thinking…the message that they’re trying to convey that women should stand up for themselves. They shouldn’t just tolerate, but actually speak out when a crime is committed against them. These messages spread like wildfire ever since the heinous Delhi gang rape case. We still see so many powerful female personalities fighting for women’s rights and equality each and every day. But here’s what’s going on in my mind. As much as women try to fight for their rights, I see so many women putting each other down, being catty, insulting each other, back biting, or just plain being mean. So you’re basically just a walking hypocrite if you think someone like you is fighting for women’s rights.

            ‘Mean girls…’ I honestly loved that movie! Not so much when it happens in my own life though. I don’t know what it is about women. They just to love to put each other down just to build their own self-esteem up a bit. Again, I’m not generalizing, but I will say for the very firs time I’ve experienced that cattiness within women. According to me, girls can be very sensitive and insecure of their possessions or skills, perhaps because society has molded them in that way. In Indian society especially where women are often seen as second to best, or inferior, girls are constantly fighting to prove themselves. Thus, when somebody else who’s seen as a threat comes along, girls do anything in their power to put that person down, whether it’s spreading rumors, mocking one another, or back biting!

            That brings me to the next point: gossip. Girls have a tendency to talk a LOT. It’s what we love doing in our past time. Not every girl of course! But especially those who have absolutely nothing to do on a daily basis. When their minds are blank (or jobless as it’s called in India), girls will dig for things to talk about to make their lives more interesting. I have never experienced this with any of my friends abroad, because we never had the time! Unfortunately, that’s not the case here, where girls literally sit around in circles and just talk about how ugly she looks, what a show off she is, or how she goes around with that guy. I mean, WHO CARES?! Live life for yourself. Stop digging into other people’s lives! I get it…my life is more interesting than yours to talk about it all the time but c’mon gimme a break!

            But enough of all this negativity. The point I’m’ trying to get at is women need to stop attacking each other, and instead have each other’s backs! We all go through the same problems, so why not stand up for each other for once?! I mean, all these Bollywood actresses endorse products or run campaigns promoting women’s rights, but there are so many insecurities they have against each other! You can notice the rifts between Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra whenever they talk about each other in ‘Koffee With Karan.’

            You can advertise and promote about women’s rights as much as you want, but it doesn’t make you any better than those criminals if you yourself can’t respect other women. Us girls need to stick together. We need to love and respect each other first. Smile. Give a random compliment. Hug each other. Show that you are with each other. Only then can we really gain justice in the struggle to women’s rights and empowerment.

I Speak On 'Friendship'

            So this is a topic that has lingered on my mind for quite some time. Through past and present experience, I have come to terms that yes the concept of friendship is vastly different in each and every person’s mind. Maybe (again) I read into things way too much, but these are observations I’ve made and I can’t help but pen it all down. So here’s my rant…

(Disclaimer): Again, these are purely my thoughts and opinions. In no way am I trying to preach or force my opinions onto you. Your choice if you wanna take it that way!

            The first point happens to be joking around and teasing. Yeah, I get that. Everyone wants to goof off with friends every now and then. But there’s always a limit, which people in my college never seem to get! I mean, I still remember when I first came to college, everyone thought it was hilarious that I wouldn’t share my drinking water, or anything else for that matter, with others. Then came the jokes of how weird I was to pop out my hand sanitizer to cleanse my hands (DUH). I used to get a bit offended and sometimes clueless as to how to respond, because at times it’s almost as if they’re putting you down rather than just joking. I’m not used to to being ganged up by everyone, and be taken as some hilarious joke. Now, I fire back at them (jokingly of course), because that seems to be the only way to handle it. I’m surprised they haven’t made fun of my accent as much.

            Second, misunderstandings through silence. Ok, I have never in the past had any arguments or problems with any of my friends, who were all mainly girls. Until I came here…Boy oh boy…. do girls like to gossip here!!! People tell me oh that’s normal…all girls are like that. I say NO WAY. I have lived abroad and never once did I face ANY kind of drama with my girlfriends. I think it may partially be because people goof around so much so that they forget how to handle serious situations sometimes. I’m straightforward and tell that person to their face. Unfortunately, people here would rather go behind my back and try to “solve” the problem with someone else. That’s how misunderstandings rise! I mean, just the other day I didn’t like something a friend did so I told her directly. Because I hadn’t just kept my mouth shut, the next day she started acting a bit strange. What starts as a day of silence turns into the eternal silent treatment. Like, WHAT?! If you got problems with me, TALK IT OUT. It’s that simple.

            The third point is honestly just dumb to me. I’m generally a very friendly person, and love interacting with all kinds of people. Then there are my so-called friends who get offended or insecure every time I start chatting up with someone other than them! I mean, it’s my life. I would like to talk to whoever I want, and whoever I’m comfortable with. Doesn’t mean you have to give me the ‘eye’ and start whispering every time I meet somebody! God, why is our college so dang cliquish?! I do not like to hang with just one group of people. In fact, everyone was so ‘uber’ friendly with me on my first few days of this college. The minute I started interacting with everyone, slowly all these people stopped talking to me. Now, they barely glance over or say hi. You don’t have to just limit yourself to certain people, you know. The whole fun in life (for me at least) is getting to meet all kinds of people SO DO THAT.

            My point is, friendship should not just be about temporarily hanging around with a person, goofing off, and then just forgetting all about them when it comes to the real stuff. Then, there’s the whole thing about letting your ego get the best of you, but that’s a whole another story. Will get to that another day. I have been and always will be a very good friend, unless you treat me like crap. It’s like what they say, you give respect, you get it. Friendship is all about that, but it’s also about understanding, honesty, and genuine love which creates that strong ever-lasting bond.

I Speak On 'Families'

So I got invited for lunch at a friend's house the other day. Her mom went to the extent of preparing a traditional Brahmin Tamil lunch served on banana leaves. To make things even more traditional, we ate on the floor. Was an interesting experience...

Anyway that's not what I want to blog about today. What I couldn't help but notice was her mom, brother, and the small details of her family, and compare them to the families I've been around in other parts of the world. Greeting us in her house with a warm smile, open arms, and a cotton sari tied in a messy manner, Roma's (name changed) mom welcomed us into her house. After finishing our lunches, her mom then joined us on the bed, cramped in with the 6 of us for a little girl gossip. She casually teased Roma, along with my other friends about various topics ranging from boys, marriage, dressing up and so much more.

Soon enough, Roma's brother, Varun (name changed) strolled in with basketball shorts and a jersey, tossing his bag aside. Making himself comfortable on the floor, Varun licked his glass of milk clean and then began practicing his basketball moves, until his mom yelled at him to get his books out.

I just sat there observing all these scenarios, drawing comparisons between Indian and Western families. It was very fascinating to see how Roma's mom was so easygoing and comfortable with her daughter's friends. When I used to live in Hawaii, and I visited my friend's home once, her parents were pretty much out of the scene. Although they ensured that I was very comfortable, personal space was very important for not only her daughter, but for herself too. Interactions with parents were even more distant when I lived in Indiana, the midwestern region of the US. My friend's mom would rarely interact with us. Just a hi and hello and very formal conversations to follow.

The strange thing is I felt slightly uncomfortable with all the closeness that I experienced at Roma's house, perhaps because I'm still not used to the different cultural norms having been brought up abroad. Being a collectivist society, Indians love to socialize and be a part of a bigger group. When it comes to families, one's aunts, uncles, moms, dads, are almost seen as your own. I felt the need to ask Roma's mom for help (as they normally do abroad), while my friends just made themselves comfortable and began eating! In the Western context, my friends would always keep a formal distance with my parents, by asking them if they needed help, thanking them repeatedly, and making conversation very now and then.

On top of that, the simplicity with which Roma's family functioned was interesting. They slept, ate, and sat on the floor so often! Containing not many decorative items, the living room just consisted of a few chairs and a TV. Spending time with each other seemed to be enough, clearly indicating that they were all very close to each other. Roma and her mom would exchange jokes very often in Tamil, as her mom brushed up close to her for comfort. So different from seeing kids abroad just lock themselves up in their rooms, only with their headphones and computers for company...

I guess there are still many things I have yet to adjust to. It's all about finding the perfect balance between my life abroad and my life back in India. Drawing differences between my life then and now really do help to broaden my mindset even more. It was a very unique comparative experience for me that day, aside from enjoying a delicious meal!

I Speak On 'Miscommunication'

           ARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!! The frustrations of not understanding Tamil!!!! Yes that is my daily battle living in Chennai. Not gonna say I don’t understand a word, but I cannot carry out full conversations, which further leads to utter confusion, misunderstandings, and more arguments. Yep, that’s basically what I’m gonna rant about today.

Again (DISCLAIMER): all opinions and expressions are my own. Not meant to hurt or offend any sentiments. Just need to let it out.

            I’m not sure exactly what it is about this particular state, but they seem to have this natural talent to harass young people/foreigners/anyone who doesn’t look like they’re from here. It’s like they look for outsiders to give a hard time to. It’s happened numerous times at bus stands, with auto ‘walas,’ shopkeepers, ladies compartment on trains, and most other locals. So I got on the bus today, slamming it on the sides to make it stop, as I was about to get on for about the fifth or sixth time now (alone). Feeling pretty confident this time, I looked around for the conductor and asked for my usual route to Perungulathur. Not knowing that this bus went straight to Koyambedu (my final destination), I got off at Perungulathur. I stood confused, as the bus kept waiting. I asked the driver and he gave me a vague nod saying yes it does go to Koyambedu.

            Relieved yet slightly bewildered at the strange behaviors, I climbed back up on the bus and took a seat. The conductor came over and started bothering me about getting another ticket, muttering away in Tamil. As usual, I tried to converse back in my broken Tamil as best as possible, when all of a sudden he started getting hyped up yelling at me to get off the bus. On top of that, customers started pouncing on me when I started arguing back. Long story short, I got really pissed off and told them to lay off, completely frazzled and disturbed by this scenario.

            I am not at all a fighter. If I feel something is wrong, I will speak up, but otherwise I avoid confrontations. But, coming to Chennai, fighting, trying to speak up, yelling, all for your own justice is like a daily routine!! I can’t stand it. And the worst part is, people here begin raising their volumes when they realize you can’t understand the language, which makes you want to fire back at them.

             I hear it all the time. ‘These immigrants are taking over our Tamil culture.’ ‘Look at the way they dress.’ ‘No respect for elders.’ Blah blah blah. Like, HELLO, I don’t need to learn from you. I have my parents to guide me. The accusations that I heard about me today, on that bus, are still ringing through my ears. I came home disturbed and wanting to get out of this place more than ever. I have been to other parts of India, and though I may not have lived there, I can get a much better vibe from the people, and the respect they have in the way they talk and treat you.

            The sooner the locals begin to treat college students, foreigners, or any outsider with respect, the sooner they will be treated back with respect. It’s a simple formula. I make every effort to learn and appreciate this language and culture that I’m immersed in. But it makes it so much harder when people behave this way!